Why Can’t We Make Dying Fun?
Posted on November 25th, 2009 | PopularNumbers related to this post:
2,432,000 – number of deaths in the U.S. in 2005
4.58 – percentage of people who were cremated in 1970
30.88 – percentage of people who were cremated in 2005
51.12 – percentage of people who are projected to be cremated in 2025
8,000 – average cost, in dollars, of a standard funeral
My best friend Doug is a licensed funeral director and is very, very good at what he does. You’d almost think Widow Schmidt was glad that ol’ Stanley kicked the bucket after watching Doug guide her through her grief with grace and dignity. He’s so good you look forward to the next funeral. And because he is so good at his job and enjoys it so much, I think he should quit. It may sound like bad advice, encouraging someone to stop doing what they love to do, especially if they are remarkable in the Seth Godin sense of the word like Doug. But I have my reasons.
I want Doug to quit because I believe that the funeral business is dying…no pun intended. People don’t get as jazzed as they used to (Did they ever really get jazzed? Who even started this process? Click here for some answers.) for the old school routine of wake at the funeral home; memorial service at the funeral home; procession to the church; mass; procession to the cemetery; and finally — the big finale — rubber chicken and stoic faces at Acme Banquet Hall, Anytown, USA.
My advice to Doug is to ditch the old and tired (no offense Widow Schmidt) and begin the journey of redefining the entire mourning experience. Become a Wedding Mourning Planner! Although you’d probably want a better title. How’s that for thinking outside of the (pine) box! The typical funerals with newspaper-only obits, expensive caskets, hazardous embalming chemicals, 1970’s style funeral homes with baby blue shag carpeting and mustachioed men in cheap suits driving a gas guzzling hearse are over. Maybe not for everyone, but there is a niche market awaiting Doug. And that niche will have sustained growth.
Here’s the simple strategy: remove the cost components that no longer deliver value and leverage the ones that do. Doug can still be the best at what he does, he just won’t do embalming anymore. If you take away all of the overpriced relics such as $7,000 non-biodegradable bronze caskets, and instead produce an event that celebrates and documents the life of someone, you have yourself a business. I don’t want to spend $10,000 for a funeral if it’s going to be the old way. I don’t like funeral homes, I don’t do religion and I hate rubber chickens. I don’t buy the Herald for the obits. Here’s what I do want though:
* a super fun party at my favorite bar or restaurant or Wrigley Field or Grant Park
* with only the people I want (big fan of “By invitation only” funeral celebrations)
* make sure I don’t ruin the environment for my descendants with embalming fluid, funeral processions and land occupancy (grave site)
* Let me or my loved ones chose my funeral soundtrack and allow anyone to buy the songs from my iTunes playlist
* play the video goodbye I taped from my death bed on my Mac Book Pro
* record the eulogies (heck, the whole friggin party) and put it online (password only!) for those who couldn’t make it
* allow people to make donations to my charities or loved ones via PayPal
* have a virtual guest book on my celebration of life webpage
* maybe even have a few laughs at my expense
* make sure someone hits on my widow…
For all that I’ll pay $15,000!
This reason I wrote this article is to point out to everyone that times really are changing. And they’re doing so faster than any of us have ever seen. It feels a little bit like a massive forest fire where the earth is scorched and it takes years for the bounty to return, though the soil will be more fertile than ever. We’re still in the fire fighting stage but it’s so important to look beyond today and prepare for the future. For the first time in a long time, I see opportunity everywhere because we’ve been forced to start over and can rebuild both quickly and solidly. It’s actually quite exciting, even if you are in the funeral business! I love Doug and always will, but I don’t want him to be stuck with the wrong business model at 48 years-old when the thirteen-sibling Irish Catholic family has gone the way of the Dodo bird and there is no one left to show up at the funeral home. Now is the time to change!
Please feel free to post thoughts of encouragement for Doug in the comments section. Changing the way a group of people think about something as ingrained as funeral traditions is tough and he could use all the help he can get.
Are you like Doug? Do you know a Doug? If you do, please send this along. Changing is hard and we could all use a little nudge.
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